Letters from the new pastor- Even the hard
"You crown the year with a bountiful harvest, even the hard pathways overflow with abundance."
Psalm 65:11 NLT
Becoming a new parent was an education, to say the least. There were many things I wasn't prepared for, as is the case with any new dad. The new pace of unrelenting tasks coupled with sleepless nights was simply overwhelming- my wife and I would often fantasize of an uninterrupted 4-5 hours of sleep. For those of us who have endured (or are still enduring) diapers, nap times, feedings, bath times, temper tantrums and more, I believe a special award is in order. Sure, the experience is what every parent (loving parent, anyway) endures and grows into- gladly, joyfully and many times, against our own will.
Shauna and I are past the stage of fantasizing about a good night's sleep- and for those parents out there that wonder if they'll ever get back to normal I would say, no- you won't. You'll adapt, you'll get your time back, but it won't ever be the same. It can't ever be the same. And you don't ever want it to be the same. Life is simply different- in a good way- in a way that is natural. For instance, my capacity for love became larger, and my appreciation and respect for rest was renewed. These new rhythms emerged from a pathway marred with trampled down expectations; they took root and grew in our lives- and we're all the better for it.
The Psalm above is one that I've written in my prayer journal for about five years, now. Every time I sit to pray, I write this verse. I used to write it and pray it "prophetically"- meaning, I would "claim" it's promise over my life- a defiance in the face of suffering or hard period of time that I was experiencing. Now days, I write and pray it more as an assurance, because even in the suffering or hard times, I've seen God's blessing spring up- even in the areas that are trampled down, hardened by the sun, devoid of rain.
As 2020 comes to an end, I know most of us are breathing out, exasperated- anticipating the wide distribution of the vaccine and a return to normal. And to that I would say, if parenting and life has taught me anything, things won't ever be the same. In fact, what 2020 has proven to me is God's incredible capacity to keep me sane and upright in some of the weirdest of times. I want things to return to normal- I want to travel, to spend time with people in normal ways again and more- so, don't misunderstand me, I'm dreaming of sleeping, uninterrupted again- know what I mean? But I know the pace and life that emerges from this crazy year will have to be different than how we went into it- and, my Lord, do some of us need that change.
If you reminisce much on the angst, loss, grief, uncertainty, anger and rage of 2020- I think you'd agree: We cannot live life the same as we did during this pandemic, for many reasons. I pray, with the expectation of a new parent, that "Christians" will have what it takes as we move into this new year- we'll bear the fruits of God's Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, self control... And when the fog begins to clear and and we again see the horizon, we'll notice that, even in the hardened, packed down pathways, new springs of life have broken through- little, frail, thin bright green shoots of life- with all their promise and beauty- different than what existed before- with a larger capacity for love and a renewed appreciation and respect for rest. Yes. Amen.